Valentine's Day is Long Gone...Now What?

Real Love Potions: Hormones, oysters, chocolate and the number 9

Who can forget the magic little # 9 bottle circa 1963? What is even more familiar is the drugged feeling of being “crazy in love.” What we now know from very clever anthropologists and behaviorists is that there is a definite chemistry of love, and even die-hard romantics can’t resist a peak inside the Homo sapiens’ brain to gain an understanding of Nature’s most powerful tool. The scoop is that our reproductive hormones help ignite some powerful mood regulating chemicals that can take our mood up and down just like many drugs well known to be addicting.

Lets take two people falling in love. For the woman, we know that her hormones are best primed in her Venus Week, the week after her period when testosterone (the hormone of desire) and estrogen (the feel-good hormone) are peaking together. Should love take off, the brain will get a nice surge of dopamine, a chemical that lifts mood and initiates attraction. The effects of dopamine are similar on the brain to that of cocaine… igniting the imagination, and creating euphoria. If this initial high is not snuffed out by a negative impression (such as bad breath, crude behavior, or a slipping toupee) dopamine will set off a chain reaction that may lead to the next state: infatuation.

During infatuation’s “rush” of love, more brain chemicals soar, even endorphins and amphetamine –like substances making the lovers feel “on cloud 9.” It is not surprising that after this emotional high, heartbreak can make one feel ill, or “broken.” The crash off of such a high can be physically painful as the human brain craves the chemicals that Mother Nature has so primed it to love. The other painful fact is that no high can last forever, and typically after 6 to 36 months into a relationship, the brain will become accustomed to the recipe of the new pairing, and become less sensitive to the magic. Some would confuse this phase as losing “that loving feeling,” and take it as a sign to move on, but the bump in the rollercoaster is normal, and keeping novelty in the relationship helps change up the chemistry to offset the craving for variety.

So how to borrow from this sneaky plan to maximize a relationship, or to get the rush of desire when you are solo? The answer lies in using healthy ways to stimulate the chemistry of love. For example, exercise elevates the entire panel of mood lifting love molecules, and adds icing to the cake with another one: serotonin. Even though serotonin is often associated with romance (wine, sugar, and alcohol elevate it), it is more associated with satisfaction than desire. Take the classic example of the nostalgic cigarette after sex; tobacco elevates serotonin (albeit temporarily), amplifying Mother Nature’s planned dessert – basking in post-sex relaxation. Many experts feel that too much serotonin can get in the way of romance, and it may be true that serotonin-elevating antidepressants (Prozac, Zoloft, and the like) put the kibosh on the entrée (sex) by serving up dessert first. In the meantime, if love is not providing enough mojo, exercise can create a runner’s high, plus it burns calories, and satisfaction (serotonin) guaranteed.

The classic movie scene in which the broken hearted starlet downs bonbons in bed is familiar for a reason:  not only does the sugar elevate mood stabilizing serotonin, the chocolate is packed with polyphenols, plant estrogens that trigger that Venus feeling much like our own estrogen. Even better, the health benefits of dark chocolate (greater than 70% cocoa) are so familiar that many health food stores have an entire isle dedicated to the glorious stuff. Dark chocolate is also known to elevate the almighty dopamine--no wonder it’s a classic valentine treat. Other foods that elevate dopamine are those that are from the reproductive parts of plants, i.e. nuts (especially almonds), legumes, beans and tubers (like peanuts).

Additional strategies to boost romance include supplements that push up dopamine. The best insider tip is that omega-three fatty acids (fish and flax seed oils) are not only good for the heart, brain and cholesterol…but also enhance romance. Omega-threes increase dopamine, and may be the reason why oysters (some are very high in omega threes) are so legendary as aphrodisiacs. So if your Valentine’s ardor has lost it’s shine, grab a bag of dark peanut M&Ms at the neighborhood drugstore, some high-grade fish oils at your local health food store …then plan an extra long yoga session to burn off the calories and get total satisfaction.  This “recipe” will make every day seem like Valentine’s Day, your own secret love potion #9.

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